is your mom at the bar?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
