just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
