I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize