kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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