? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?