i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.