My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We left the knife in your bed.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.