it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do flat chested girls get laid?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize