She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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