my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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