sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
