Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
