kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I love you.
Bad choice
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