I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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