I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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