Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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