That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
