he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
