Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
