I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize