Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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