If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
