i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Do vagina's smell?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
