the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize