Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
