He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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