im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sorry about my life...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
