Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
