I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
