have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize