fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
