He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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