is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
