It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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