What tipped you off? The sombrero?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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