Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
