Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
