Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
