i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
