My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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