And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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