i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
