when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
