Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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