READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize