I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
