Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
