on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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