dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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