Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize