why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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