I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We have started to decorate penises.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
