ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
BRING THE BAGELS
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
