he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
