Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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