i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
