They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
