I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
