idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
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I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
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When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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