I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
